But Is It Art?

I have to admit that I'm not all that much of a reader, but I've been trying to change that gradually. There are a few music-related books that seem pretty interesting and I've wanted to buy and read, so maybe soon I'll be able to do a good "books about music" post. But in the meantime, I've got one book in particular that I think everyone would get a big kick out of: Horrifically Bad Album Covers! by Nick DiFonzo. The title is self-explanatory, and the book is totally worth buying. Even for the people who don't like music, the fascination with aesthetically deficient imagery is practically universal.

I've tried to be really selective and only post a few pictures from the book ('cause I don't want the publisher to get pissed at me, even though I'm posting them with the hope that you'll buy the book), but it was tough to narrow it down to six. Trust me, people -- if these pictures intrigue you (and how can they not?), the book's just loaded with 'em. Each picture comes with a brief, entertaining comment by the author, but I won't reproduce those here -- the comments below are my own. Enjoy!


CAPTAIN HOOK AND HIS CHRISTIAN PIRATE CREW: "Shiver My Timbers!"
This is a case of the album's concept being weirder than the cover art ... Christian Pirates?!? I guess now we can safely say the Evangelicals have truly used every kid-friendly scenario to try and lay a little religion on them. (And they accuse the homosexuals of "recruiting" kids?!?) I have to wonder what this thing sounds like ... "Arrrr! Avast, me hearties! I'm gonna run through that scurvy bum with me cutlass! But first, we must open up the good book to Lamentations, verse 4!"


THE RHODES KIDS: "Add a Little Beauty To The World"
Hmmm ... a little beauty, you say? Getting rid of those outfits would be a good place to start. And what's with this "America's No. 1 Musical Family" claim? I may not have encyclopedic knowledge of '60s and '70s music, but I know that being "No. 1" would require that I'd at least heard of them before now. Oh, it's got quotes around it, so that must mean their manager said it one day ... probably preceded by the phrase, "Someday they're gonna be...".


THE MINISTERS QUARTET: "Let Me Touch Him"
This one has got to be my favorite -- it's a joke all by itself. Sure, back in the '50s it seemed perfectly innocent to give this kind of an album title to a gospel group full of middle-aged men, but I seriously doubt they'd get away with it nowadays (the album title, at least).


SHARRON L. LUCKEY: "Carpet Square"
Okay, this one is just plain weird-looking. I'm guessing that "the carpet square" was some sort of exercise fad they roped the kids into doing back then, but even forgiving the impaired fashion sense of the time, it still looks utterly dorky.


DR. GEORGE MILSTEIN: "Music To Grow Plants"
Wow, I can just imagine how much this album rocks. I've heard that fans of the Warped Tour and Ozzfest even stay away from this one. Well ... okay, it's mostly just because they don't know it exists, but still ... better safe than sorry.


TAMMY FAYE: "Run Toward The Roar"
Okay, you know this is a bad album cover when you barely even notice Tammy Faye's thick coat of makeup! I know we're not supposed to speak ill of the dead (not that I would), but does posting bad album covers of them count? Tammy Faye may have started out as a religious conservative whacko (Or was she just married to one? I can't remember.), but she would later come to her senses and embrace what Christianity is really all about: appreciating us all for who we are. Rest in peace, Tammy Faye.